Double Texting – What is it & How Soon is Too Soon?

In the world of contemporary dating, there is a lot of discussion about double-texting, which is when someone receives two or more consecutive texts. Some nervous daters worry about sending out too many messages in a row because they don’t want to come across as needy or annoying.

What is Double Texting?

Imagine sending a text message to a new dater. You suggest a potential date and inquire about a Saturday night meet-up. Then you continue to wait. (Waiting makes you anxious, so you add a single question mark to your response in the hopes that it will prompt a response.

You are a prime example of double texting, boom. (which is generally undesirable.)

Double texting can be described simply as sending two or more texts to a person before waiting for a reply. The general assumption is that someone who can’t wait patiently enough for a response (and texts again) is clingy, needy, and lacking the social graces necessary to allow someone time to respond.

Double texting, in a nutshell, appears desperate. Double texting someone you’re dating is an easy way to turn them off.

When is It OK to Double Text?

It can be challenging to determine when sending multiple texts is appropriate, even if you occasionally feel comfortable doing so.

When it comes to double messaging, timing is important, according to a 2017 survey by dating app Hinge. Data collected from over 300,000 US conversations on the app revealed that four hours was the ideal amount of time to wait before sending a second message.

Mann claims that it is not necessary to wait a certain amount of time, though. It should be a natural process that you and your crush develop together to communicate with each other, or anyone else for that matter.

You should check in with yourself to determine when double-texting starts to make you feel bad in addition to knowing what type of texting is appropriate to send to your crush.

Is Double Texting Ever Okay?

There are two situations—count ’em, two—where double texting is completely acceptable, according to experts. The first is called a “need-to-know’ scenario. You and your date, for instance, agreed to meet at the neighborhood coffee shop at 6 PM, but when you get there, it’s closed. Ten minutes pass after you text your date about it with no response. It’s acceptable to send a follow-up in that situation. (After all, you’re by yourself in a coffee shop parking lot.)

The other time it’s okay to double text is during a “resolution” scenario. Consider a scenario in which you and your date agreed to meet at the beach on Saturday at 2 PM and you sent a text on Friday to confirm. Now that it is Saturday morning at 11:00 AM, you still haven’t heard back. A simple follow-up that says, “energized for today’s beach outing! 2 PM, right?” is a great example of an acceptable double text.

The “Rules” of Double Texting

What then is the double-texting protocol? Are there unspoken “rules” to follow?

You bet! Here are some general guidelines when it comes to double texting:

1. Think About Why You Want to Double Text

Why are you considering sending two texts at once? Are you experiencing anxiety or paranoia? Unfortunately, all that stress comes across as a double text, and the recipient will probably be aware of this.

Unless you’re in a “need-to-know” or “resolution” scenario, a double text isn’t worth it. Basically, don’t send a second text if you’re doing it to allay your own anxieties or to pose the same question in a slightly different (yet equally obvious) way.

2. If You’re Swapping Stories, Double Texting is Usually Fine

Anyone who texts knows that no one likes to read long passages. It’s acceptable to send multiple texts in a row to break up the text if you and your new love interest are exchanging stories or your response to their question is a bit drawn out. It’s much easier for the reader.

3. There’s Really Not a “right” Time to Send a Double Text

You may be thinking, “I want to send a double text, but how long must I wait?” Here’s the thing: If you’re dating someone new, it’s totally fine if it takes them a day or even a few days to reply.

Even though it might seem agonizing from your perspective, try to be understanding. Besides, you’re only getting to know them now! Perhaps the office became chaotic, or even worse, a family member passed away. Give them as much room as you can so they can respond.

4. Double Texting Depends on Your Relationship

Double texting is typically discouraged. However, it genuinely depends on your relationship and the length of your courtship. If your new love interest double texts without meaning to, it might be acceptable for you to do so occasionally.

Along these lines, it’s also okay if you’ve been dating for a while and are aware that your partner needs a little prodding. Avoid double texting if you just met; it doesn’t make for a good first impression.

5. Be Direct If You Want An Answer

If you want an answer, ask a direct question that isn’t ambiguous. Instead of “There’s a great new seafood joint downtown,” say, “This Friday at 7 PM, do you want to go with me to check out that brand-new seafood restaurant downtown?” If you leave your text cryptic or open-ended, you can’t fully expect someone to respond.

6. Remember That No Response is a Response

Unfortunately, there are times when someone may ignore a text message just because they are uninterested in it. It’s probably best to accept it for what it is and take something positive away from having to wait a week to hear back from someone. That’s all there is to it; if someone wants to respond to you, they will.

So, do you engage in texting twice? Although it’s acceptable in some circumstances, you’re better off avoiding it when texting a new person. Of course, it might be best to move on if you discover that they rarely reply to your texts in a timely manner and you prefer someone who communicates a little better. Consider it evidence that your communication styles aren’t compatible. In that case, send a second text and bid farewell.

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