Depending on how you view the world and how well you know the individual, you may or may not recognize the signs that a guy is pretending to be straight. Of course, you won’t know someone’s sexual orientation until they come out to you, but when it’s your ostensibly straight husband you’re dealing with, that conversation might not be the easiest to start.
So how can you tell if a man is gay but closeted? What telltale signs can you look for that a guy is pretending to be straight? How can you tell if a guy is pretending to be straight?
He Never Initiates Or Partakes In Any Straight Sex
One of the biggest signs of a closeted man is that he will never initiate sex or even act casually interested. It’s important to keep in mind, though, that having a decreased libido due to outside factors is common in every marriage and does not necessarily mean that your partner is gay.
Criticizing The Exact Same Thing They Fear Of Getting Exposed
Criticizing the same thing they fear people will learn about them is one of the most frequent things people do (to hide something). The same holds true for men who are openly gay. They continually worry that one day, somehow, someone will learn of their sexual orientation. Many of these men thus criticize what they are concealing as a defense mechanism.
An unout man willfully makes fun of gay people, cracks anti-gay jokes, and compulsively laughs with boys who also make fun of homosexuals. To strongly persuade people that he is straight and “manly,” he, therefore, avoids all things gay and acts as though he despises gay people.
Sometimes Dating Young Ladies And Telling Over The Top Tales About It
Yes, you read that correctly. Some openly gay men will occasionally date young women without any intention of engaging in sexual activity in order to convince people that they are straight. Though the date is obviously unlikely to enter a committed relationship based on sex, it suffices for him to use it as a cover for his true sexual preferences.
There’s Secrecy And A Lot Of Lies
There is a good chance that there will be some infidelity in a gay man and straight woman relationship. When there is infidelity in a relationship, there is also secrecy, dishonest behavior, and lying. The secrecy surrounding his social circle will be one way that the deception will manifest.
He never introduces his friends to you, so you won’t know who they are. Since he rarely talks about them, you won’t know much about their lives either. Identifying the warning signs of an unfaithful partner can also be helpful if there is actual infidelity involved.
His Mental Health May Spiral
When gay men marry women who are straight, they’re eventually going to feel “trapped” in the marriage, approaching the stage of relationship burnout rather quickly. He might experience a midlife crisis as a result, and over the course of your marriage, you might see him become visibly depressed.
Of course, it’s significant to point out that mental health isn’t the only indicator that a man is pretending to be straight. However, if that is the case, it is easy to understand how something as significant as having to conceal one’s sexual orientation can lead to depression and other mental health problems.
Makes Fake Coverups About Their Present Life
So would he say he is telling some ‘out of the container’ coverups like “I’m not prepared to date” and more (with respect to connections)? At that point, it is possible that he is secretly pretending to be straight while actively hiding his affection and acceptance of homosexuality.
Makes Excuses Not To Attend Events Perceived As “Gay”
He might be pretending to be straight if he steers clear of events that are viewed as gay, such as pride parades or parties with a predominately gay crowd. He might not want to go because he doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable in a place where he feels like an outsider. Or maybe his friends and family expect him to do so since it is part of “being manly”.
Avoids Physical Contact With Guys For A Long Time
A year without shaking a man’s hand or refusing to give him a hug are examples of avoidance techniques used by some men. These actions show that he is not accepting of his sexuality and is making an effort to lead a straight life. Keep an eye out for these behaviors if you think someone you know is attempting to convince himself that he is straight.
What Should You Do If You Discover That Your Boyfriend Is Acting Straight?
You should speak up to your boyfriend if you think he’s pretending to be straight. Even if his sexual orientation worries you, reassure him that he is under no obligation to do so if that is what he wants to hear.
Make sure to express to him your concern for his wellbeing and your love for him as a person, not just because he is straight.
It might be best to end your relationship with your partner if he exhibits extreme anxiety regarding his sexuality. To persuade themselves that being gay is immoral or wrong, some men pose as straight. This is why they can’t date someone like you because they only want to date women.
Conclusion
You ought to know by now whether or not your man is pretending to be straight. Inform him that it’s okay for him to come out of the closet if you believe that the warning signs might apply to him and that he has been living a lie.